There's No Crying in Baseball

I would guess that the most quoted line from A League of Their Own comes from Tom Hanks’ character when he tells one of the girls on his team “there’s no crying in baseball”.  Last Thursday, I 100% broke that rule.

I had just gotten home from teaching and saw Steven calling.  The conversation started with his favorite phrase these days, “Do you want the good news or the bad news?”  It doesn’t matter which one I pick, he always tells me whatever he wants first so I said I didn’t care.  He said all the work I did setting up the apartment in Tacoma was for nothing.  Immediately my mind went to our roommate, Andrew Carraway…maybe he got called up, maybe he was traded.   Now we were going to be stuck with this expensive apartment unless we could find a roommate.  Before I could finish that train of thought, Steven told me HE'D been traded.  I was shocked.  It was a week in to the season!  He hadn’t even played a home game yet.  I asked him how he felt about it and what would happen next.  We were interrupted by another call so he said we’d talk more later.  I hung up the phone and that’s when the rule breaking started.

On the phone I wanted to be positive, supportive, and strong.  I knew this was a big deal for Steven and that he would have a lot of emotions so dealing with a hysterical wife was not what he needed.  Once that call was ended though, it hit me.  The tears came pouring out.  Where would he be assigned?  Where would we live? Will they switch over our insurance asap?  How would they handle Steven’s heart?  Would the new wives be nice?  Would his teammates like him?  Would he like his teammates? What about Hultzen, Bobby, Pax, Forrest, and all his teammates I had really come to love?  These are the guys we'd lived with, cooked with, fought with, watched Mira for us.  It hit me that the Mariners had been a family, although dysfunctional at times, and every experience I had with Steven and professional baseball was with them.

The more I thought about the fact that I wouldn’t be watching Steven play in Las Vegas next week and wouldn’t be driving to Tacoma, the more upset I got.  I had signed up for a 5k at Safeco and had visions of walking Mira at Chambers Bay.  There were unspoken plans to eat Jimmy John’s and Cheesecake Factory with friends I had made there.  My grand ideas of getting the wives to volunteer at the Tacoma Rescue Mission and have a school supplies drive in the fall were ruined!  My mind drifted to the one question that was most dreaded, is this the beginning of the end? The tears kept coming, as did a giant headache.

While I was busy being consumed with all these questions, the trade was officially announced.  Texts, tweets, phone calls, and facebook messages came pouring it.  I can’t thank those you who took the time to show your support enough.  It was all of that love that snapped me back to reality.  I couldn’t believe that people I hadn’t spoken to in a year were reaching out to wish us well!  It made me realize what great friends and family we have to not only support Steven, but to support me as well. 

With my mind clear, I saw that this was such an awesome opportunity for Steven.  I also knew that we had talked time and time again about growing wherever God plants us so it was time to suck it up and let go of all of the things I felt I would be missing out on.  God was blessing my husband with a new opportunity and has had this in his plan for us all along.  I looked at my daily devotional from Baseball Chapel.  It was called “Who is in Control”.  I probably should’ve read that at lunchtime like I normally do.  It spoke directly to me: “the Lord will fight for you; you only have to be still” Exodus 14:14.  I started to remember more scripture and slowly my heart changed to true excitement and a sense of peace.  The trade had been made.  The Rockies would do as they pleased with Steven.  All we could do was be still and let the Lord do his thing!

Since the trade announcement, it has been decided that Steven should start in AA in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  His team, the Tulsa Drillers, is in the Texas League, which is different than when he was in AA with the Mariners and in the Southern League.  I’m excited to head out there next week to visit him and add yet another ballpark to my ever growing list.  In his first outing with the new team, Steven pitched a perfect inning with 2 k’s.  I couldn’t be more proud of him…not for his awesome pitching but for going into this new situation and giving nothing less than his best.

The more I think and pray about the trade, the more I realize that FDR was on to something when he said “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”.   Who knows what will happen this season with the Rockies or what would’ve happened staying with the Mariners.  Who knows if this is the path to the big leagues or the path to some other calling.  All we can do is continue to trust in God and recognize that there really is nothing to fear and no reason to cry because He is in control!