Choice lead, feelings follow….

It has been almost a year since I last posted a blog.  I would like to say that I was just too busy but the reality is that I had plenty of down time.  I think a more honest answer would be that the things I cared enough about to sit down and write about were not things that I really wanted to publicly share my feelings on.  I didn't want my hypocrisy exposed; proclaim to trust in God and his plan but then complain and doubt him for the next 6 months!

The school year ended and I was trying to plan what the summer would look like.  Steven's stay in Tulsa (AA) was sure to be short since he had dominated AA with the Mariners.  Then came the double hamstring injury.  If I'm being completely transparent, I wanted to kill him! Here I am stressing about making living arrangements in Oklahoma or just waiting it out a week to see if he gets sent to Colorado Springs (AAA) and he goes and puts himself on the DL!  Don't get me wrong, injury is almost inevitable in baseball but this one was totally of his doing.   Trust me, that would not have been a blog you wanted to read.

As the season went on the roller coaster continued.  I did end up driving out to Oklahoma which only ended in more chaos and eventual retreat to Wisconsin, where there was some stability and a big yard for Mira!  The summer was filled with wonderful experiences and people but all the while, discontentment hung in the air.  Again, not a blog you want to read.

The offseason was much less dramatic and without much to report, there wasn't much to blog either.

All of this brings me to the present and a little thing called Spring Training.  The very "normal" offseason has come to end as Steven gets back in to baseball mode in Arizona.  This time he will be in Scottsdale at the Rockies' facility and staying with a host family.   I'm sure he has a lot of different feelings going in to this and although I'm staying behind to finish the school year, I do too.

Our church has been doing a series on relationships.  Each week focuses on a different aspect but the reoccurring theme is "choices lead, feelings follow".  Most of my relationship with Steven has been feelings first.  Whether its been our romantic relationship or how we deal with something like baseball, I have been a "feelings first" person.

This year, my goal is to make choices first and let my feelings follow.  I am going to start with Spring Training and choose to be happy that Steven once again has been given an opportunity to play baseball.  To be proud of him for making it to a level that only a small percentage of  people achieve.  To be excited by all of the newness of the Rockies and the places it will take him/us this season. To be supportive as things get crazy.  To enjoy the one-on-one time I will have with Mira and our new baby.

I know that as the days turn in to weeks, this will become more and more of a challenge and those negative feelings will creep up.  I have come to realize though that allowing them to control how I look at baseball or life is a choice.  I can choose to write a blog that could be totally negative or be grateful and write one that tries to find the positive.  I do not have to grow a garden on dark thoughts.  I can make a choice to grow my garden on positive thoughts and let the feelings follow…and those are the flowers that smell the best!

There's No Crying in Baseball

I would guess that the most quoted line from A League of Their Own comes from Tom Hanks’ character when he tells one of the girls on his team “there’s no crying in baseball”.  Last Thursday, I 100% broke that rule.

I had just gotten home from teaching and saw Steven calling.  The conversation started with his favorite phrase these days, “Do you want the good news or the bad news?”  It doesn’t matter which one I pick, he always tells me whatever he wants first so I said I didn’t care.  He said all the work I did setting up the apartment in Tacoma was for nothing.  Immediately my mind went to our roommate, Andrew Carraway…maybe he got called up, maybe he was traded.   Now we were going to be stuck with this expensive apartment unless we could find a roommate.  Before I could finish that train of thought, Steven told me HE'D been traded.  I was shocked.  It was a week in to the season!  He hadn’t even played a home game yet.  I asked him how he felt about it and what would happen next.  We were interrupted by another call so he said we’d talk more later.  I hung up the phone and that’s when the rule breaking started.

On the phone I wanted to be positive, supportive, and strong.  I knew this was a big deal for Steven and that he would have a lot of emotions so dealing with a hysterical wife was not what he needed.  Once that call was ended though, it hit me.  The tears came pouring out.  Where would he be assigned?  Where would we live? Will they switch over our insurance asap?  How would they handle Steven’s heart?  Would the new wives be nice?  Would his teammates like him?  Would he like his teammates? What about Hultzen, Bobby, Pax, Forrest, and all his teammates I had really come to love?  These are the guys we'd lived with, cooked with, fought with, watched Mira for us.  It hit me that the Mariners had been a family, although dysfunctional at times, and every experience I had with Steven and professional baseball was with them.

The more I thought about the fact that I wouldn’t be watching Steven play in Las Vegas next week and wouldn’t be driving to Tacoma, the more upset I got.  I had signed up for a 5k at Safeco and had visions of walking Mira at Chambers Bay.  There were unspoken plans to eat Jimmy John’s and Cheesecake Factory with friends I had made there.  My grand ideas of getting the wives to volunteer at the Tacoma Rescue Mission and have a school supplies drive in the fall were ruined!  My mind drifted to the one question that was most dreaded, is this the beginning of the end? The tears kept coming, as did a giant headache.

While I was busy being consumed with all these questions, the trade was officially announced.  Texts, tweets, phone calls, and facebook messages came pouring it.  I can’t thank those you who took the time to show your support enough.  It was all of that love that snapped me back to reality.  I couldn’t believe that people I hadn’t spoken to in a year were reaching out to wish us well!  It made me realize what great friends and family we have to not only support Steven, but to support me as well. 

With my mind clear, I saw that this was such an awesome opportunity for Steven.  I also knew that we had talked time and time again about growing wherever God plants us so it was time to suck it up and let go of all of the things I felt I would be missing out on.  God was blessing my husband with a new opportunity and has had this in his plan for us all along.  I looked at my daily devotional from Baseball Chapel.  It was called “Who is in Control”.  I probably should’ve read that at lunchtime like I normally do.  It spoke directly to me: “the Lord will fight for you; you only have to be still” Exodus 14:14.  I started to remember more scripture and slowly my heart changed to true excitement and a sense of peace.  The trade had been made.  The Rockies would do as they pleased with Steven.  All we could do was be still and let the Lord do his thing!

Since the trade announcement, it has been decided that Steven should start in AA in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  His team, the Tulsa Drillers, is in the Texas League, which is different than when he was in AA with the Mariners and in the Southern League.  I’m excited to head out there next week to visit him and add yet another ballpark to my ever growing list.  In his first outing with the new team, Steven pitched a perfect inning with 2 k’s.  I couldn’t be more proud of him…not for his awesome pitching but for going into this new situation and giving nothing less than his best.

The more I think and pray about the trade, the more I realize that FDR was on to something when he said “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”.   Who knows what will happen this season with the Rockies or what would’ve happened staying with the Mariners.  Who knows if this is the path to the big leagues or the path to some other calling.  All we can do is continue to trust in God and recognize that there really is nothing to fear and no reason to cry because He is in control!

A Look Back at the Offseason

"People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring." Rogers Hornsby

The offseason came and went in the blink of an eye.  Although there was no baseball being played, we definitely weren't just staring out the window waiting for spring!  For us, the offseason brought one wedding, two receptions, a cross-country drive, new house, new town, new jobs, and even a new truck!  Needless to say, we were extremely busy.  I started running and training for an eventual half marathon while Steven worked to stop chewing tobacco.  Steven hunted and I crafted.   We barely had time to get settled and it was Spring Training again!  Baseball seems to always keep us on our toes both in and out of season.  I don't know what future offseasons will bring but I am pretty sure there'll be no staring out the window for the Hensley's!

Defying Gravity

Everyone has heard the expression “what goes up must come down” and being a science teacher, I know all about Newton’s laws and Einstein’s theories.   Being in baseball, I know that it is much more than law or theory; it is reality.  Anyone who follows an athlete’s career from draft day to retiring can also confirm this. 

While some guys shoot straight to the top, it is much more common to slowly climb, move up and down, or bounce from team to team.  In Steven’s career he’s been moved up for temporary reasons (like to be an extra arm in a playoff run) but most of the time when moves are made there is no timeline.  It is easy to get caught up in the excitement of reaching the next level but at some point reality sets in and you realize that you can just as easily be moved back down.  Of course the flip side of that is that you can also called up and get that shot at the big leagues.  Every performance becomes so critical and sometimes its really just about doing the right thing in the right place at the right time.  Baseball is so circumstantial and fickle.  It plays with your emotions and more importantly; it plays with your life.

Recently Steven went through a slump and I found myself fixated on the idea that we’d be headed back to Tennessee.  Steven had warned me not to “ride the rollercoaster” when he was moved up to Tacoma but without really even realizing it, I had.  It took a lot of prayers and kind words from friends and family to ease my mind.  I had to remember that Steven had given his career to God and while I might pray for 1-2-3 innings, that just might not be His plan. I had to remember back to early in the season when someone told Steven to think of himself as a flower and grow wherever he is planted….even if we’re replanted in Jackson.

Once I was able to give in and stop worrying, Steven had a great outing.   I reflected on the whole experience and realized I would need to keep things in check if I was going to survive this lifestyle.   I would have to accept that we would have some great moments but possibly some not so great ones because our goal was to defy gravity…to go up and stay up, and then go up even higher. 

Moving Up

I had started to write a blog about being settled in Jackson as the first half of the season wrapped when we found out that Steven was called up to AAA Tacoma.  Baseball life at its finest!  I still want to mention some of what I had intended to write but obviously this post has taken a whole different turn.

I arrived in Tennessee after a three-day drive from Arizona.  Mira and I dealt with some carsickness and less than fancy hotels, but we made it!  With the car unpacked and the apartment looking more like home, Mira and I found some great walking places and were able to relax.  I started working in the ticket office at the field and attending a local church where I also helped out with vacation bible school.  I planned a fun camping trip with atv-ing and horse riding for the All-Star break.  Jackson didn’t seem so bad and I was pretty comfortable.  That should’ve been a sign that everything was about to change. 

When Steven was told he was being promoted I was waiting in the parking lot after a game.  I was excited and proud, but also completely overwhelmed.  We had 6 hours to get as much of his stuff packed as possible and come up with a plan.  Jackson to Tacoma is a 35 hour drive and I knew it wasn’t a task I felt comfortable taking on by myself.  We had thought this call up might happen, just not now.  A promotion is always a blessing and always the goal so I tried to keep that in mind as I began to run through possible plans with Steven over Steak N Shake.

If you’ve been reading my blog then you know I have really tried to completely trust my life to God and have 100% faith that He will provide and take care of Steven and I.   This has been a great opportunity for me to do just that.  In the last 24 hours I can’t even explain to you how things have come together so perfectly.  Friends and family have stepped in to help us out and one of the church members opened their house to me here until I am able to fully move to Tacoma.   I found that I went from being overwhelmed to being able to just be joyful.

I will be the first one to say that I have definitely insulted God’s power with my worries and anxiety in the past but this time I have let it go.  It has been my prayer that God will continue to lead us and that I will trust it all to come together in His perfect way.   I have to tell you though that as I prayed for God to help Steven and I with this transition I started to feel it was extremely petty.  For the last week a couple in our baseball and PAO family has been dealing with a very scary situation involving their 2 year old son.  His heart stopped beating and he was dead, only to be resuscitated.   This morning as I prayed for God to continue to provide, I just had to stop.  I know God hears all prayers and can help us all but I just had to tell him to focus his efforts on little Copeland.  I know that both Copeland and his family can use all of the prayers possible so I encourage you to read more about their story and lift them up in prayer (http://willlaurenstartup.blogspot.com/). 

Copeland’s story has been a reminder to me that life is so much bigger than baseball; a reminder that God can use both positive and negative situations to draw us closer to Him.  Whether we stay in AAA, move back down, or find ourselves in the big leagues, all we can do is continue to trust in Him to provide for us.  We could not be more thankful for all of the blessings we have received and all of the ways God has shown how faithful He is to us. 

Not For Sale

Since the PAO conference in November, Steven and I have taken a very different view on many aspects of our lives.  One that has changed drastically is baseball.  It is a job but it isn’t a job that just anyone can do.  God has blessed Steven with an amazing talent and we both realized it was time to start using that talent for more than income.

Earlier this spring Steven and I were introduced to a group called Not For Sale.  We became aware of them at about the same time that the KONY 2012 campaign went viral so it seemed fitting to get involved.  NFS uses athlete’s abilities to raise money and encourages fan and critics to get involved as well.  I started thinking; let’s just pretend Steven threw 1,000 strikeouts a season.  I would GLADLY write a $1000 check for that.  Why not pay forward God’s blessings?  We decided to donate money for every strikeout and inning and of course will up the ante when a move to the big leagues is made.

If you are able to join our efforts this season and make a donation we would appreciate it.  It can be based on Steven’s stats or a one-time donation, anything helps.   Ideally we will be able to encourage other Mariner’s and athletes in general to join us so look for your other favorite athletes as well!

Our page....donate here!

For Better or Worse

I haven’t blogged in a while so this post is definitely overdue.  I’m going to give myself a break since school and wedding planning have consumed my life.  Not to mention listening to nightly baseball games and attempting to get back in to running.  It seems like I constantly have something to do, which is good because it has helped the time away from Steven pass relatively painlessly.  The last two months have also brought the start of a new show, “Don’t be Tardy for the Wedding”.  Those of you who know me know that I have few vices.  I don’t smoke or gamble, and rarely drink or curse, but Mt. Dew and the “Housewives” tv shows get me every time.

Kim, the star of the show, is going over vows one day and starts in on the “in sickness and health, richer or poorer” and stops because she says she doesn’t like negativity in her vows.  I get what she is saying; who wants to think about the bad things that life might bring on such a happy day.  The truth is though, life can bring some hard times and one of the blessings on a marriage is that you will have a partner to help you through.  I mean, that is kind of the point of those vows; letting the other person know that you will always be there for them.   

I know every life and marriage has the possibility of things going wrong but I have to wonder how many people really believe any of it will happen.  Two of my friends got married in the last year, both teachers.  Did either of them think about what would happen if he broke his leg and was done working for the year?  If he got fired?  If he was forced to teach across the country?  I doubt it.  Those things don’t happen in most careers.  I think instead couples embrace marriage and accept that there could be a few bumps along the way. 

There are a few situations where the negativity in those vows is especially important and a baseball marriage is one.  I can guarantee there will be bad calls, bad games, bad fans, bad road trips, and even bad teammates.  There will be injury, minor or career ending, and there will be trades, releases, and who knows what else.  Baseball has provided us with some situations that have been testing of us individually and as a couple and will continue to do so.  

The thing about the vows is though that once they are said, there is no turning back.  There is no “the distance isn’t working” or “the measly minor league salary isn’t enough”.  You know getting in to it that the negativity in those vows is a reality and you’re going to be there and be his biggest fan anyway.  There are many people who will be around for the success and the good times, but I think it’s important to say, up front, I’ll be there when you can’t get out of the first inning, I’ll be there if you have a surgery and need a nurse, I’ll be there if we spend our savings chasing the dream and end up broke.  Of course I’ll be there for his MLB debut, when he signs a big deal, and has a jersey retired, but I think we all already know that.  What we really need to hear is the first part, the reassurance, that no matter what, we have someone to turn to. 

I have no idea when or where Steven and I will end up saying “I do” but I do know that when the time comes he can count on me to say every line.

Back to School

A few weeks ago I was approached about taking a job as a substitute teacher for the remainder of the school year. The job was going to be 7^th grade Social Studies at the school I resigned from last year. At first I didn’t really know what to think. It seemed exciting to picture myself back in the classroom, working with the people I loved so much last year. The challenge of teaching a new subject area also provided some allure but then it hit me, remainder of the school year means end of May. End of May means into the baseball season. Into the baseball season means staying behind while Steven plays….and that’s just the start of it. Then there was the reality that I would be the third teacher these kids had had this year, not to mention the reputation this group had. All of a sudden that excitement turned in to fear. I found myself not wanting to go and clinging to the idea that I would leave in April and travel with Steven. I knew this was something I needed to pray about and there was a reason I was given this opportunity.

As the days went on I started to realize that God was answering my previous prayers and this was something I absolutely needed to do. I realized what an honor it was that my former administration and co-workers thought I would be able to handle this position and create the classroom environment necessary for the students to be successful. I thought about my New Year’s resolution to do better and give more and knew I had to do it.

Luckily I was able to find someone who was willing to rent me a room for a few months and allow Mira too. At that point, I officially accepted the job and spent the last week preparing my classroom and myself for Monday when the kids are back in school.

I’m sure that in no way will this be easy and I’m sure there will be times when I wish I would’ve just gone with Steven but I know there is definitely something to be gained from this. Plus, who can turn down a few more months of sunshine?!

Its Always Sunny in Peoria

Now that Steven and I have been living in Arizona for a month I thought it was probably time to get everyone up to speed, especially before Spring Training officially kicks off and things get crazy!

We drove from Wisconsin down here with stops in Kansas and New Mexico. The drive went well and Mira was great both in the car, and in the hotel. Steven did most of the driving but we didn’t pull any 16 hour days like we did on our way to North Carolina. We pulled in to our driveway in Peoria, AZ on Feburary 1^st and were joined by our roommate James the weekend.

The past month has gone by pretty quickly. The boys stay busy with baseball and video games and I’ve expanded my cooking repertoire. While they are “working” at the field I have stayed busy tutoring 5 nights a week and babysit for a few different families on occasion. Hopefully I will start doing some substitute teaching soon as well.

This past month has allowed us the chance to really slow down and enjoy life. For example, we get to eat lunch AND dinner together every day, which definitely won’t happen during the season. We’ve been able to have a house tennis tournament (that ended when I beat both of the boys) and Mira gets a long around the neighborhood regularly. We’ve had friends over for the Super Bowl and to grill out. I’ve been able to catch up with old friends and climbed South Mountain last weekend for the American Cancer Society. We’ve been able to attend church every weekend and even hang out with friends from other teams. Soon Steven will be starting a Bible study with his teammates and I am joining a neighborhood group through our church to do some community service.

It really is almost always sunny in Peoria. Mira is in dog heaven and with a pool in our backyard, I’m in my personal heaven as well. It is very easy to feel blessed here and see all of the good God has put in our lives. I see this time as the calm before the storm and hope when the craziness of the season starts I can remember these moments. After all, the next blog could easily be “Its Always Rainy in Tacoma” or “Its Always Humid in Jackson”….with baseball you just never know!

On the Road Again

It's that time of the year again. The time when football is wrapping up and preparations for Spring Training are in full force. This year Steven and I will be traveling down to Arizona early (in about a week) so he can workout and throw in weather about -2 degrees! The packing and planning has been taking place since December when the hunt for housing began. We were lucky enough to find a great place at a reasonable price and even found one of his teammates to live with us. We've all spent plenty of time together both during the season and this offseason so I am very excited about all of it. My parent's house has been our storage unit for the offseason so they will finally be getting some space back. It seems like we've spent the entire offseason preparing for this, yet not really wanting it to come...or maybe that was just me.

I know that we're both ready for the warm weather, seeing old friends and teammates, and of course a pay check! I know that Steven is ready to get back on the mound and ready for a breakout season. I know that no one promised that at any point this lifestyle and I don't expect it to get an easier in the big leagues. I know this is exactly what I signed up for when I started dating him, but that doesn't make it any easier. I read a blog earlier today written by a baseball wife about how it makes her feel when people tell her what a hard life it is. “Thank you for your concern. It really is hard. I panic sometimes thinking about how our lives are at the mercy of so many factors that are out of our control it’s terrifying. And I worry everyday about having enough money to do all the things we’ve both dreamed of. And I even get sick some days wondering how we can raise the family we want with a life like this. And my eyes water at the thought of ever having to say another long goodbye. And I’m scared about how to make the best decisions when we don’t know what will happen to us in five months, let alone five years. But, you know, I came into this relationship with my eyes wide open. And somewhere along this road filled with the fear and the unknown and the trials, I decided my husband and our relationship was worth all of it. So, as naïve as it may sound, I am positive that as long as we’re together we’ll always be okay. And when you believe that, the hard just doesn’t really matter too much.”

Let me tell you, those comments don't make it any less hard for any of us. I don't know if the intention is to seem sympathetic or maybe to make us second guess ourselves, but either way, it doesn't go over well. I've had those exact thoughts, and I'm sure most women in baseball or professional sports in general have too. The thing is though that we can't change the lifestyle and the alternative is finding a new significant other. Some women eventually choose the latter but for me, that is not an option. So guess what, I decided that I don't want it to be easy. If it was easy, I would have no appreciation for the good things when they come our way. If it was easy, I wouldn't have this common bond with other baseball wives and girlfriends that others can't relate to. If it was easy, I wouldn't be as proud as I am that we have made it this far. In A League of Their Own Tom Hanks says to Geena Davis "If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. It's the hard that makes it great". You know what? He's right. If it wasn't hard, every girl that met a baseball player would walk down the aisle and live happily ever after, there would be nothing great about it. The difficulties we face test our commitment to each other and to chasing the dream. At the end of the day knowing that it has been hard but we're still together and going strong, makes it worth it, makes it great.

So in that spirit…

“I can't wait to get on the road again. On the road again goin' places that I've never been. Seein' things that I may never see again and I can't wait to get on the road again. On the road again like a band of gypsies we go down the highway. We're the best of friends, insisting that the world keep turning our way and our way is on the road again.”

To Do More (Making Good on a Resolution)

It's that six letter word that has become all too common, yet no one wants to hear: cancer. These days, cancer has reached all of us in one way or another and it doesn't seem to be slowing down.

In 2007 my grandpa, Al Heisler, passed away after a battle with cancer. There are many things I remember about his battle but one that stands out is the sense of humor he had in his remaining days. At a time when he could've felt bad for himself and wanted pity from those around him, he chose to laugh and make others laugh. Cancer can be scary and uncomfortable and so many other terrible things that I think one of the best gifts he left me is that I remember him being funny, and not any of those other sad things. Of course I also remember what a supportive grandpa he was (along with my grandma Jeannine) showing up at basketball games, piano recitals, school plays...you name it. Not every kid grows up with all four grandparents around but I was lucky enough to spend my childhood surrounded. I also remember trips to his store where I always was able to find some type of treat or toy. I even remember going with him and my grandma to some type of flea market and I think I tried to sell a lady a fur coat! There were trips to Arizona and Mexico and family vacation in Black River Falls. Not only do I have great memories of my grandpa but I also have great respect for him. He was able to overcome so many things and make so much of his life that it would be impossible not to respect him.

When I first moved to Arizona in 2008, I met a fellow new teacher. He had taught in the district but was new to my school and was a fellow Midwest native. Clayton was a Vikings fan but a pretty good guy regardless and began dating my friend Emily. Eventually Emily became my roommate and I grew to know Clayton very well. He was diagnosed with cancer early and life but went in to remission. Cancer struck again, he battled, and came out victorious with the scars to prove it. Since being in remission again, he and Emily married and are expecting their first son in February.

I think about my young cousins and cousin's children and realize that they will not remember my grandpa as I do. Some won't even know him. I think about all of the other families that have lost loved ones and children who are left without fathers or mothers. It would be easy to think that cancer is as certain as taxes, something we all eventually succumb to, but I'm not ready for that. I don't want to think that every family will have to be negatively impacted by cancer. I don't want to think that for the rest of my life nearly 1.5 million people will hear "you have cancer" and have little hope.

This year I am once again participating in the American Cancer Society's Climb to Conquer Cancer in Arizona to honor my grandpa, to thank those who helped Clayton, and to give hope to the 1.5 million. Although I have done the hike before, I have decided to take an active part in fund raising for the American Cancer Society so that someday soon we can find a way to slow down cancer, and maybe even stop it. If you are able, I encourage all of you to join the American Cancer Society's efforts and help me and my team (Clayton's Crew) by clicking the link below. If you are unable, I encourage you to find out what the American Cancer Society is doing in your area and participate any way you can so we can help people stay well, get well, fight back, and find cures!

Click here to support me and the Climb to Conquer

New Year, New Chances

Steven and I spent the last 10 days in North Carolina visiting his family and friends for Christmas, his birthday, and New Year's Eve. The 16 hour drive went well thanks to Steven, who did most of the driving. Mira made the trip with us and did a much better job traveling than when I took her from Phoenix, AZ to Jackson, TN.

Time flew by in North Carolina and we seemed to always be up to something. We spend a few days after Christmas near Steven's college town (Elon) doing some hunting. It was my first time and I enjoyed it although I am definitely not the hunter Steven is. We saw a movie, had a bonfire, visited the French Broad Brewery, and ate many delicious meals with great company. Mira spent most of her time running around with the 3 dogs at the house. She loved having other pups around to wrestle and play with. It was hard to get her settled down at night but I know she had fun. As a Christmas gift from Steven's dad, I was able to spend a day at the Grove Park Inn Spa with Steven's aunt. I had never had a "spa day" and it had been a few years since I had a massage so I thoroughly enjoyed my time there. I think the highlight of Steven's trip was just being able to spend time around the people he cares about.

One bonus of our time in Asheville was that we were able to meet up with Steven's mom and her family a few times. They recently relocated back East and were in South and North Carolina for the holidays. We both enjoyed talking with them and spending time together, as well as meeting some friends of theirs. Who knows whether it will be baseball, the Packers, or a holiday that will bring us together again but we look forward to it!

Amidst all of the hustle and bustle was New Year's Eve. Earlier in our trip we saw the movie "New Year's Eve" and it made me think a little differently about my resolutions this year. Of course I have the standard type (give up drinking soda) but this year I also wanted to make one that would lead to bigger and better things. The movie says New Year's is all about getting another chance, "a chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more." Everything we had heard at PAO resonated and it was clear that making the most of that chance must be my resolution.

In less than a month we will pack up and head to Arizona for another baseball season. From there, only God knows what will happen. Being the planner/organizer/maniac that I am, it worries me. However, I am learning that worry is useless and instead, I am resolving to make the most of whatever chances come my way. I look forward to embracing whatever we are confronted with and seeing it as a chance to make this year the best yet!

Express Christmas

Every holiday season there is that time span when the most classic movies are played over and over leading up to the big day. When Christmas rolls around you can count on seeing “Home Alone”, “Home Alone 2”, “National Lampoons Christmas Vacation”, and “A Christmas Story” leading up to the big day. However, this year it was a tv show that really captured the Christmas spirit for me. Modern Family had an episode called “Express Christmas” and it was perfect. The family can’t come together on Christmas Day so they have to get creative and have Christmas early without any time to plan. The day is filled with wild family antics and surprises. For the first time Steven and I are trying to celebrate all of our family’s holidays together which has meant not one, but several “express” Christmases.

So far, we have had two of our Christmases. The first was in Lake City, Minnesota with my mom’s side of the family. It was great to be able to get together with aunts, uncles, counsins, and the whole extended crew since baseball tends to make it hard for Steven to be part of family gatherings. It was our version of an “Express Christmas” completed with an evening mass and delicious meal.

The second Christmas we’ve had was with my parents and between Steven and I here in Wisconsin. Since we will be traveling I will miss my immediate family’s Christmas so we decided to have that early too. Usually my family has our Christmas early so it wasn’t much of a change from other years but I did miss having my sisters there.

Our next celebrations are in North Carolina which means at the end of the week we’ll pack up the car, throw in the dog, and start our 16 hour drive to Asheville. Steven was there in the fall and I haven’t been back since last Christmas break so we are both excited to see family and friends. Although we get to spend just over a week there our schedule is already filling up. Somehow, Steven has even managed to get a hunting trip in there! I’ve never hunted and definitely never killed anything so it should be interesting to say the least. Aside from all of the Christmas celebrations, we will also be celebrating Steven’s birthday.…a quarter of a century!

After the 1st of the year we have to head back since the schools start up which means back to work and teaching for me. Managing all of the Christmases, celebrations, and a road trip has definitely required some organization and been hectic. It’s required us to work together and compromise and I’m sure the 32 hours in the car will really put us to the test. Just like in Modern Family, hijinks and mishaps are to be expected by the time all is said and done. Christmas this year has been and will be different than our family Christmases from the past but as Gloria says, “Family is family. Whether it’s the one you start out with, the one you end up with, or the family you gain along the way.”

A Tale of Two Off Seasons

The off season looks a little different for each athlete and their family so since it has officially started for us, we're doing a joint post on what we have going on.

Ashley:

For me, the off season is in the summer when I'm not teaching, so during this time of year I'm busy working. Since I'm not teaching full time this year I am staying busy subbing in the area and working with a program at UWEC. I'm really enjoying getting to work with different grade levels and teaching different subjects when I sub. I've even been able to work at the same school as my mom a few times.

Although I plan to take a break from traveling until Spring Training, at the end of November I got to take a trip Florida for a PAO conference. I was able to connect with new people and hear some awesome messages.

In my spare time I've been working with Mira on some dog training and watching Packer football! For the most part, I'm just enjoying having family and friends around and taking the in the moment before its back to baseball.

Steven:
This offseason has been a lot different for me this year than it has been in the past. I have usually went home to my home in NC and hunted and hung out with family and worked out at the RUSH facility. Since Ashley and I have decided to try to have a "normal" relationship (where we get to see each other more than once a month), I decided to spend my offseason in Wisconsin with her and her family. She is able to get plenty of work teaching and also works at the university in town.

We just got back for a Professional Athletes Outreach (PAO) conference in Florida. I can't explain how God worked in both of our lives during this 5 day conference. It truly was a blessing to see God move in our lives. Since being back from that I have had my wisdom teeth cut out and it has been a nightmare. I am currently writing to say that there isn't a lot I wouldn't do for a cheeseburger right now! Went back to the doctor today and I have dry socketed myself. Ha Ha. Anyways that is just a little glimpse into the offseason so far. I hope that God continues to bless and His glory and honor grows more and more each day!


Don't let Steven fool you, he's been doing TONS of hunting too. Hopefully we'll be able to post of a pic of a kill soon :)

Back Where it All Began

This last week I was able to spend some time in Arizona with Steven while he played in the Arizona Fall League. This was my first trip back Southwest since moving in May. While I was there I met up with old friends and helped my former roommate move into her first house. I got to see Steven pitch a few times and added another ballpark to the list of places I've been. I loved the sunshine, pool time, and the familiar feel of Arizona. I realized that while baseball is sure to take us all around the US, I will always feel a little at home in Arizona and look forward to whatever time we get to spend there because that’s where it all started.

I graduated from college in 2008 and had a job lined up in Avondale, AZ. Another girl from my hometown had a job lined up as well so we decided to live together without really knowing each other too well. I don't think either of us would've guessed what that year together would hold but I definitely made some of the best memories of my life. This is where Steven comes in. Our group of girls liked to go out on the weekends to the Westgate area, particularly Margaritaville. There were always live bands and the crowd was usually a little older so we could kind of let our guard down and dance. In early January we were doing our usual weekend routine when a certain baseball player was sent to Arizona and for whatever reason, ventured to Margaritaville. It took a long time between meeting Steven that night and the point where we started dating. We were friends and I would do his laundry while he'd beat me in Wii Sports. When spring training ended and he left for Clinton, IA I realized that I really liked him but he was definitely not ready to settle down in any way. We stayed in touch and when he was moved to California and I took the opportunity to visit him a few times. It was during those visits that I first really fell in love with him. I always tell him that I loved him before he even knew it, and it’s true. Luckily I was smart enough to know if I told him how I felt or pushed a "relationship" he'd be out the door, timing was everything. We continued to keep in touch after the season and when he was back again for spring training I decided it was time to kick it up a notch. If there is one thing you need to know about Steven it is that he WILL NOT doing anything unless HE wants to. This meant more waiting for me because he was not going to make me his girlfriend until he wanted to. Eventually he either gave in or just realized what a great catch I was and we started dating. Like any baseball couple, dating meant seeing each other for a week then not seeing each other for a month. During the summer I traveled to see him and he was able to come to Arizona to see me a few times as well. After doing that for what seemed like a century we decided that we wanted to be like any other couple and live in the same place. It seemed like a good plan but of course baseball had other plans so we are still traveling to see each other. This year will be the first time that I will be able to spend the offseason with him so after three years I feel like I'm getting the boyfriend I was always waiting for!

Like any other couple we've had our ups and downs but with each twist and turn we find ourselves growing closer together. Being back in Arizona reminded me of where we started and how far we've come. I'm excited for future trips back, not only to see friends, but also to take that stroll down memory lane and maybe even grab a margarita while we're at it.

Bad Trade

In the opening of "Bull Durham" Annie Savoy says "Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball - now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God's sake? It's a long season and you gotta trust" This is a line that constantly pops in to my head because whether its the big leagues or the minor leagues, baseball is full of bad trades. Some times it is literally a bad trade like Robinson for Pappas or the Oakland A's trading away McGwire, but other times it is extra innings when you had dinner plans or spending months apart. The focus with professional sports is money, fame, and a luxurious lifestyle. You can ask any minor league baseball player, even the bonus babies, if life as an athlete is that simple. Its not. It is full of bad trades. These are the minor league (and sometimes major league) details that people often miss.

After the 9th inning announcers commonly say that the crowd is in for some "free baseball" and free is a good thing, right? I can't tell you how many times we had hopes of catching a late night movie or dinner before restaurants are closed and "free" baseball was all I got! Imagine sitting in the stands thinking you finally get a date night only to realize inning by inning, you don't. Most of the time this means I haven't eaten since about 1 o'clock when we had lunch before heading to the field to drop the boys off. I'm caught between eating over-priced, unhealthy, and generally gross ballpark food and growing hunger pains with every pitch. Definitely a bad trade.

Living in hotels and team set up housing must be nice, right? Wrong. It’s another bad trade here. This summer my time was spent sleeping on a mattress on the ground. Some had airbeds and some were really lucky and could rent a real bed from a local store. In most cases, several guys are living in a two bedroom apartment so a dining room turns into a bedroom. I've been lucky to always stay in a real bedroom but not everyone can say the same. A couch or tv is also a bonus, although tv's are temporary and have to be returned within 90 days. I made the mistake of trying to be a little "homey" and putting up a picture, air freshener, curtains, and flowers. They were nice touches but curtains don't look the same when they're held up with pushpins and tape, and flowers do not survive after a road stand. The real problem is that not only do the apartments lack any personal touch but the boys live out of two suitcases and a baseball bag from spring training on. If you think there is room for decorations much less pots and pans, you're crazy. Even if there were room, everyone knows it isn't practical since at any point you can change teams......"home is where they send you". At least half of the year is spent not knowing if you're coming or going and all the while, trying to perform your best in hope that the move is a good one. Again, bad trade.

Distance. I don't think this one even needs a full paragraph. Whether it's a wife, girlfriend, or family, the distance is easily one of the worst trades. Sure you get to create this new nomadic family, a band of gypsies, but everyone has someone they are away from. Some are lucky and have family that can visit or catch a game but many spend from Spring Training on without seeing those they care most about. I know military families deal with this same thing and for much longer periods, but that doesn't make it any easier. Having a 5 day sleepover with your roommate on the road is definitely not the ideal exchange for spending months away from loved ones.

Well at least there is the money right? Wrong. Minor league baseball does not pay well and the cost of living, dues, traveling, etc easily take away from whatever money might be left over. Signing bonuses can be helpful but unless you're on the fast track to the big leagues, they run out too. Being a teacher I fully understand what it means to live on a budget and think carefully about money, adding a professional athlete to the mix does not mean my days are now filled with drinks by the pool and shopping sprees! The big leagues make this lifestyle a little easier I'm sure but like Notorious BIG said, "mo money, mo problems" so we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I'll mark this trade down as questionable for the time being, knowing full well that it may never turn in to a good trade.

Last but not least, the fame. Baseball cards, autographs, team merchandise...this has to be a great trade. Not really. It might be nice to have someone ask you to sign something before a game but it is definitely not nice to be sitting in the stands and hear the fans when every pitch isn't a strike. People may know your name to cheer you on but they also know your name to heckle when you can't get a guy out or go 0-4. It's hard to hear that and not want to say something. There is also the downside of knowing that a bad outing shows up in the paper just like a good one and although there is more to the game than stats, that is all some people see. Having a team jersey auction is cool unless no one bids on your jersey. The organization’s top prospects will always take the top bids while some guys will be lucky to even get the minimum. Kind of puts you in your place. Baseball cards are definitely cool and even cooler when a deal is landed and a little money can be made. The part that isn't so fun is finding them on Ebay for 99 cents....not really on pace for the cover of Sports Illustrated!

Even with all of these bad trades, it only takes one good trade to make it all worth it: the big leagues. Within all of the burdens and inconveniences lies the possibility to play at the next level and it drives us all. Regardless of the motive for wanting to get there, getting there is goal. The thing I’ve found is that to keep pursuing that goal you have to look for the good trades, even when they are small ones. Without baseball I never would’ve been to most of the places I’ve been (Jackson, MS is not a tourist hotspot) or started my state magnet collection, which I know is nerdy but my students looked forward to coming back from breaks to see what new states I had added. Finding specialty cupcake shops or a good sushi place became mini adventures and when discovered, made new places feel more like home. We would not have met many of the amazing people who have welcomed us in for dinners and to live, been company in the stands, and offered insight through baseball chapel. I’ve learned more about the game than the sports I played myself and gained some great friends through teammates and their significant others. We’ve been able to be a part of some fun events like all-star games and soon a PAO conference. We’ve learned the importance of flexibility and communication and how to grow close together, even with miles between us.

Waking up every morning remembering that they are getting paid to play a child's game and are one of the lucky ones who has made it this far seems help put it in perspective. Not everyone can say at the end of their life that they pursued and accomplished their childhood dreams so being able to support that and watch it unfold is truly the most rewarding part. Sure there will be bad trades along the way, but it is a long season and you do have to trust that it will all work out.

Welcome

I am still figuring out how to customize things on here but wanted to get things up and running since the off season will be over before we know it! I'm hoping that we will be able to use this to chronicle the happenings of our life that you can't read about in the game recaps or online stats. I can't promise that every post will be entertaining or informational (who knows what we'll come up with) but I can promise that it will at least give you an idea of what is going on in our world....and maybe even a picture or two!